Here’s the good news. Kids of all ages want attention from their parents and caregivers. And by focusing on how you spend that time together, you can make a big impact on their mental well-being.

Spending time with your child is important. Learning to spend intentional child time is different. It is an excellent way to build a strong relationship with your child and it supports your child’s mental health.

Check out these tips on spending intentional child time!

What is Intentional Child Time?

1. It’s a purposeful effort to develop a good relationship with your child.
2. During this time, you let them take the lead, you participate in their chosen activity, and you solely focus on the good things that you see.
3. The goal is to be present and create positive moments.
4. Importantly, during this focused time avoid pointing out behavior you don't like or demanding they take specific actions.
5. By giving your full attention to your child, you’ll learn about their interests, which increases the bond between you and your child. And it can help your child build listening skills.

By taking just a few minutes a day to focus on intentional child time, you are supporting their sense of family belonging and creating strong protective factors for children. It helps them know their parents care – which positively impacts their mental health!

How do I start?

While you can begin at any age, including infancy, how you start practicing intentional child time depends on the age of the child.

• For younger children: know you want to spend special time together. Set a specific time limit (you can even use a timer). This helps them transition smoothly and makes the time feel extra special.
• Keep it authentic when working with older children. Let them know you’d like to spend time together. Show genuine interest in their activity—make sure you aren’t checking something off your “to-do” list.

Devote your whole attention during this time. It’s so easy to get distracted by what’s going on around us!

Juggling Multiple Kids?

Parenting multiple children can be a juggling act. See if you can find activities that everyone enjoys, like a card game or baking together. Or give each child their own special time, spread out over a week or a month.

How Much Time Is Needed?

To start, try to find 5 minutes a day. Decide on a time that works best for your family’s schedule. There will be some days that planned times won’t work out, and that’s OK.

The goal is to expand toward 15 minutes.

What to Do During Intentional Time

1. What is something your child wants to do or is already doing? Start there.

2. Ask if you can join them in what they’re doing. Or you can ask them what kinds of things they’d like to do with you and make a list.

3. You won’t always be able to avoid screens, but try to keep activities interactive when possible.

4. If there is an activity that you find stressful or dislike, propose something different. It’s important that your child feels that you authentically want to be in these moments with them, focused.

How to Enhance Intentional Time

• Observe the activity and be a good audience member.
• Tell them what you like that they’re doing.
• Avoid asking too many questions.
  

Intentional child time is about giving them your full attention. Much like any habit, it requires practice!

For more tips and activities on how to build connections, check out The Kids Mental Health Foundation website!